Dear Freddy
by EnigmaGreen
Summary: What if everyones favorite slasher got a advice column? ( First Draft-Review and respond) Chp.3 now up
1. Chapter 1

Dear Freddy  
  
*I do not own the copyrighted characters mentioned in this story which is solely done for laughs all rights reserved to New Line and Wes Craven*  
  
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Dear Fred,  
  
May I call you Fred?, well moving own I have a problem my girlfriend thinks I am a total loser.  
  
She is even thinking about breaking up with me all because I skip a couple of showers and don't brush.  
  
She says I spend way to much time doing homework and playing Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Vollyball.  
  
And not enough time with her and besides who gives a crap if her boobs are huge I would rather take my pixel vixens over her any day.   
  
Yours truly,  
  
Circle Jerk_0  
  
First off Circle Jerk no you may not you poor pathetic asshole, secondly you are a loser no one likes you and your girlfriend has every right to break up with you. But on a positive I would say if I was you I would kill the bitch, but I am not so looks like I will be paying you a little visit to not Chief so get all the jerkin' your gonna need cause after this the world want have to worry about STUPID FUCKS like you.  
  
Hey no hard feelings besides I've seen your girlfriend and it looks like Freddy can use alittle fresh meat if you get what I am say.  
  
Hatefully yours,  
  
Freddy Krueger  
  
PS: IF ANY OF YOU HALF ASS SNOTS WANTS TO CORRECT ME ON MY GRAMMAR AND USE OF FOUL LANGUAGE YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH ME IN YOUR DREAMS.  
  
Nighty Night Stupid Shits 


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Freddy  
  
*I do not own the copyrighted characters mentioned in this story which is solely done for laughs all rights reserved to New Line and Wes Craven*  
  
Special Thanks: Tuesday Mourning(Freddy will work on his grammar) and Kruegers666WoMaN(Thanks for the first reviews look forward to more from you guys.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well I am back you pieces of shit to answer more of your pathetic pleas for advice.  
  
So lets get started my first letter of the day is from some bitch named N-need.  
  
Dear Freddy,  
  
It is hard for me to get a boyfriend I am desperately in need of a boyfriend.  
  
I've tried everything and asked everyone I've even tried asking my teachers, but even they turn me down. Freddy could you give me some advise on how to go about things?.  
  
Oh I would also like to know if you are single as well.  
  
:) Have a nice day,   
  
N-need  
  
Nancy is this you again seriously stop sending me theses damn letters.  
  
Your a goddamn eye sore a pain in the ass that could be a reason why people don't like you I sure as hell don't like you. I guess it is time for me to give you my best advice to bitches like you. Go to sleep it is a lot easier if I just killed you personally I am not much for courting you shits. DO ANY OF YOU DUMB ASSES READ THIS IS NOT DATE FREDDY THIS DEAR FREDDY I GIVE ADVICE THEN KILL YOU ALL SIMPLE AS THAT. YOU WANT THE PERSONALS STUPID FUCKS!!!. Moving on now I would just like to say one last thing to N-need. I AM GOING TO GUT YOUR ASS WHEN YOU SLEEP!!!.  
  
  
  
I hate you all =:)=   
  
  
  
(Damn smiley faces)  
  
Freddy Krueger  
  
Nighty Night Stupid Shits 


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Freddy  
  
*I do not own the copyrighted characters mentioned in this story which is solely done for laughs all rights reserved to New Line and Wes Craven*  
  
Shout outs: To all of you guys reading and reviewing more to come for you all and feel free to toss some ideas out there to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wow I lasted this long with out some shit head writing a complaint. No wait here is one it's from some loser named Drop Dead Fred how original ha.  
  
Dear Mr. Krueger,  
  
I do not like the way you respond to some of these letters you should feel bad at  
  
the things you say to theses people. You Mr. Krueger are indeed a monster and should not be allowed to give advice. Hopefully you will take this in mind and stop right not because you can seriously hurt peoples feelings.  
  
Have a heart,  
  
Drop Dead Fred  
  
Man that really made me have a change of heart I really want to do the right things.  
  
Like for starters throwing ths shitty letter in the trash what a load of crap. Aw please consider peoples feelings Mr. Krueger blah blah mother fucking blah. Really if I had feelings I would let you know right now I think I have a feeling coming now let me share it. I FEEL THAT YOU CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS YOU HALF WITTED JACKASS!!!. Why exactly do you writing to me to tell me to stop being a monster?, like its gonna work face the facts BITCH I AM A GODDAMN MONSTER!!!. I am getting off topic now this is a advice column so here is some grade A advice for you. STOP SENDING ME THESE SHITTY LETTERS ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR KIDS ARE FUCKED UP HELL I AM ONE OF THE REASONS !!!. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS GET YOUR BITCH MADE KIDS TO SAY THEIR PRAYERS CAUSE FREDDY'S GONNA COME FOR THEIR WORTHLESS ASSES!!!.  
  
TAKE YOUR LETTER BACK DR. PHILL CAUSE IT AIN'T HELPIN',  
  
P.S.: I do and it will be from your kids chest, hahahaahaha.  
  
Freddy Krueger   
  
Nighty Night Stupid Shits 


End file.
